• 29.08.15
  • Holes in time

  • Comments Off on 19:29 and I would, in an instant, a blink

19:29 and I would, in an instant, a blink

The rain’s not help­ing tonight. As a res­ult, I’m becom­ing angry and frus­trated. The rain is always sup­posed to help, just the sound of it, allow­ing me to close my eyes and tem­por­ar­ily drift off, step out of myself. All that ridicu­lous psy­cho­lo­gibull­shit stuff, you know. Don’t you?

I tried to work earli­er, to take my mind away some­where else. But I was just mov­ing items around a screen for an hour, try­ing to busy myself. I real­ised then that I don’t, in fact, have any work I could use­fully be doing right now, as I’m wait­ing for cli­ents to get back to me. Aim­less.

I tried read­ing, get­ting lost in a nov­el, but I couldn’t find the way in to dis­ap­pear. The words pushed against my eyes, but no fur­ther. The same with attempt­ing to immerse myself in a film.

I feel cold, I’ll admit. I’ll also admit that tonight is one of those long nights when I yearn for some human warmth, com­pan­ion­ship, touch; a break from myself, being immersed in oth­ers for even just a little while.

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