• 17.08.15
  • Frustration

  • Comments Off on 21:45 and a green hue

21:45 and a green hue

Jeal­ousy.

Envy is too kind a word, too soft and poet­ic a word. It doesn’t con­vey the full strength of what I’ve exper­i­enced today. Or the full hor­ror of the dis­taste I feel for myself. 

For today I’ve been over­whelmed, riddled, infes­ted and scarred by jeal­ousy. It’s filled me to the brim, to the extent where I’ve wanted to tear and gouge at myself to release the pois­on.

I haven’t. But I can’t deny it’s been close. 

Jeal­ous, ungrate­ful, vile, despic­able cunt. He should be put out for tor­ture, he really should. Hate­ful, putrid insect. 

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